Make your customers happy and proud
eNthem is a new service where professional musicians will compose an anthem or “eNthem” for your company for $500 USD.
What a great idea! The results speak for themselves.
“Well, just like each and every nation has an official national anthem, we believe, so should each and every company have an official eNthem!”
Of course! Corporate interests own most governments anyway so this is a logical progression. Conveniently it opens up a world of advertising opportunities and lets face it, we never get sick of advertising.
For example:
I was at the Commonwealth Games a few nights ago and we had to sing the Australian national anthem 5 times. This was an opportunity missed for the advertisers. Rather than have the crowd of 80,000 sing Advance Australia Fair, which is outdated and does not sell anything they could have had us sing the McDonalds, Channel 9 or Nike eNthem.
It would be a win, win situation. We won’t get bored singing the same song over an over again and the advertisers literally have us singing their praises.
Out with patriotism! In with consumerism!
Brilliant!
Australia’s love of authority
Something I have been focusing on lately is Australia’s love of killjoy authority. When I say “killjoy authority” I mean petty signs that are literally everywhere around our cities and towns.
I understand perfectly well that many signs are necessary. Road signs, directional signs and signs for our safety. E.g. Stop, Mind the gap or Slippery when wet (not the Bonjovi album).
What I can’t understand are the multitudes of signs that tell us the bleeding obvious and furthermore they are overwhelmingly negative. When you pay attention to these signs and the tone they use it make you feel like you are either:
- A fucking idiot
- A child
- In prison
- In one of those uncool countries that has a dictator and stuff.
- All of the above
Most signs in Australia could simply be removed. It would probably make people feel a lot better about themselves and their surroundings.
If a sign cannot be removed then a simple re-wording could turn them from a negative into a positive. Think glass half full.
Next time you are walking round just keep your eyes out for the negative or killjoy signs. I promise it won’t take you long to find one. Which is a shame.
Here are some examples. I did not take long to find them.
A sign outside a park near the main street of Glenrowan, Victoria. Seeing as Glenrowan is one of the biggest shitholes I have ever been to I can’t see why anyone in their right mind would ever camp there.
Outside a toilet block. Are gangs of bicyclists going to congregate around this toilet block and stop other people from using the toilets? Probably not.
Not a very nice sentiment to display to your potential customers.
No fun here sorry. Move along please.
This ugly piece of shit was on a beautiful riverfront in Bright. It kinda ruined it for me. The only useful piece of information on this sign is the very bottom row, which nobody will read because the rest of the sign is so negative. Also I have never dug a trench in my entire life and if I did I would probably dig it in my own backyard so I could use it for something. I am not sure what I would use it for, which probably explains why I have never dug a trench in my entire life.
The Commonwealth Games don’t suck as much as I thought they would
Anyone who knows me would know that over the last 2 years I have been very critical of the Commonwealth Games.
Many of my criticisms and soap boxing has been justified. Some of them have not.
Therefore I would like to say without equivocation that I have enjoyed the Commonwealth Games. I do not have a TV so I think that has made it better because I have only seen the events I want to see.
- The fish are kinda cool
- I saw a free concert at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl by some immensely talented African musicians. I am ashamed that I do not know their names.
- I saw the Men’s Triathlon in St Kilda
- I went to the athletics with Campbell and saw an amazing 5000 metres race where the Aussie guy came a close second. The crowd of 80,000 went nuts and we were all standing on our seats cheering. I even had goose bumps, but it was a cold night so it could have just been that.
- On Sunday I am going to watch the Men’s Road Race. Unfortunately Australia’s strongest riders are already competing in Europe but I am sure it will be a good race nonetheless.
Largely it has been fun.
Despite all of the above Karak is still a knob.
Fruits of labour
A nice new website that I helped develop has gone live. Yay!
There might be a bug or two still lurking.
sub merged
Swimming today at the Brunswick Baths
Finger tips touching the bottom at the shallow end.
Seeing my shadow beat me at the deep.
Lap after lap.
When will I win?
What am I saying, I’ve got nothing to complain about.
United by the moment… if you are a BigPond customer
I don’t have a TV so I have not seen one second of the Commonwealth Games (except for the events that I have attended). I can live with this but I did want to see the highlights of Australian cyclist Ben Kersten winning gold. Ben’s victory was unexpected and apparently it was a very emotional moment. Something that epitomises what competitive sport is all about.
I assumed I would be able to access this footage via the web. I was wrong. Unfortunately the Commonwealth Game organisers decided to strike a deal with Telstra by only allowing video footage of The Commonwealth Games to be viewed by BigPond customers.
I can’t afford to change ISPs just for the sake of being able to access Commonwealth Game footage. It is an expensive and lengthy process. Also what would happen if Telstra BigPond’s level of service were not as high as my current ISP’s? I hate to think.
I do not think this is fair and is a long way from the sprit and values that the Commonwealth Games advertising has us believe.
At least the Brits and the Kiwis have free footage.
Australians all let us rejoice for we are young and free*
*Offer exclusive to BigPond members only.
Bit of a worry
Surprised myself the other day. Wanted to go for a run at lunchtime but had left my towel (for post-run shower) at home. Decided to go anyway and just use someone else’s towel that was hanging in the change room. Hadn’t realised that exercise addiction was leading me down a path that might be morally and hygenically questionable.
So where the bloody hell are you?
Recently a trashy, uncreative and unrealistic representation of Australia has been advertised in overseas markets.
I think they were off key. I propose a version that is more representative of our great nation and its delights.
We’ve cleansed the beaches.
Wound the clock back to the 1950s.
And smashed some beer bottles.
So where the bloody hell are you?.
Now that is the real Australia.
Stolenwealth Games
Went into Kings Domain Gardens today for the establishment of Camp Sovereignty (a Stolenwealth Games event). A good vibe, well attended, and amicable relations established with the police and park officials. The camp will be there until 26 March- a non-violent presence to celebrate the survival of the world’s oldest known culture and raise awareness of the demands of the Black GST, I’ll probably spend some time there again tomorrow and in the days ahead.
Useless
