Up shit creek with a turd for a paddle
Posted by Ben on | May 16, 2007
Usually whenever I start a new project at work the conversation goes something like this:
Client: Hi Ben, nice to meet you. I am the client and I have these ideas and these requirements. Do you think you can help me out?
Ben: Hi Client, nice to meet you too. Yeah sure I can help you. I like your ideas but have you also thought about this and that?
Client: No but I am glad you ran that past me. Thanks.
Ben: No worries. Lets get working then.
But the project I am currently working on goes something like this:
Client: Hi Ben, nice to meet you. I am the client. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Do you think you can help me out?
Ben: Hi Client, nice to meet you too. Yeah sure I can help you. This is the first time I have worked with your Dept so please be patient with me. Do you think you can repeat that so I can understand your requirements a little more? Give me a scenario so I can see exactly what you do.
Client: Oh sure! Sorry about that, we get use to using our terms and jargon. We’ve all been working here for so long it is easy to forget this topic is not easy to understand. Anyway what we actually want is lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Duis ligula. Donec ac dui non tortor nonummy congue. Proin viverra lectus. Morbi non ante. Quisque urna enim, pretium vel, ultricies nec, mattis ac, ipsum.
Ben: Um…
Client: You know! Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Duis ligula. Donec ac dui non tortor nonummy congue. Proin viverra lectus. Morbi non ante. Quisque urna enim, pretium vel, ultricies nec, mattis ac, ipsum.
Ben: Um…
Client: Great! Its all sorted then. See you next week for the first deliverable. Oh and by the way a bunch of stuff relating to that deliverable is not available yet. We’re not sure when it will be but you can just fill in the gaps.
Ben: Um…
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May 17th, 2007 @ 12:12 am
Client: Oh and I forgot to mention we’d rather you didn’t talk to anyone who might actually want to use the product- they really won’t be able to help you out much at all. But we are going to lock you in a room with the guys from the Montague and the Capulet divisions- there is a bit of bad blood there but you’ll have to sort it out or we won’t get anywhere.