last chance
On the eve of the introduction of the new anti-smoking laws I find myself strangely tempted to buy a packet of winnie blues and go and sit in a bar and smoke a couple.
But seriously, I am looking forward to drinking a lot more alcohol in pubs and bars without damaging my health.
Stupid little men and their big cars
Once again we hear of the Australian male’s infinite capacity for stupidity when a teen driver got caught driving at 213kmh along the Great Alpine Road. I know that road well. It’s a popular tourist route so a police officer, radar in hand is always waiting, ready to catch stupid people. And then when they do get caught they probably feel hard done by.
I think that stupid people should spend some time with my dad. Back in the day my dad drove a tow truck and would attend car accidents. He saw everything from bruised egos to bodies torn to bits. One night he had to scrape brains off the road with a shovel. Another night he found a hand and promptly told the ambo’s. The nice man in the hospital sowed the owner back onto the hand. No damage done eh?
So knowing first hand (nice pun that!) the consequences of unsafe driving I am getting bored of seeing drivers who think they own the roads and that their wants are more important than mine.
- Why do cars have the capacity to go as fast as they do? It’s completely unnecessary.
- Why are cars allowed to be advertised as racing machines? If you want to go fast and get your thrills buy a bicycle and generate the pace yourself. You might even lose that gut and get an arse half as good as mine.
- Why has it become acceptable to screech the tyres, honk your horn and yell at anyone who gets in “your” way? Its stupid and people who do it look stupid.
I use to think it was sad when people died from their own dangerous driving. Now I don’t care, not even a little bit. If you are stupid enough to drive like Little Man was on the Great Alpine Road and you lose control and die horribly… suck shit! No damage done eh?
I pity your family and friends who you leave behind but you should not have been so selfish in the first place.
This ad sums up my feelings nicely.
Showing my age
Went to see Peeping Tom at the Forum last week to relive my early-twenties fascination with Mike Patton, who was the front man for Faith No More. Saw him at Alternative Nation in 1995 (I think) when he was 10 times better than headlining Trent and Nine Inch Nails who climaxed with a lame instrument smashing exit effort.
Mike was great then and is great now. He is funny and he has a great voice with awesome range and he assembled a diverse bunch of musicians ranging from a sultry songstress with Macy Gray hair to a slim girl with a huge beat box talent, to a dextrous DJ and a geeky guy on keyboards and close trio on drums and guitars. They did hip hoppy tunes and got the crowd involved and there was a bit of banter. It was great.
Until a bunch of morons in black tshirts in the front row started spitting. At Mike. He’s seen it all, being a festival heavy in the eighties and early nineties, but even Mr Patton commented on the gross gesture chosen by these supposed ‘fans’. They persisted. And so it was only right that he reciprocate. Good one Melbourne morons. Thanks for making us a memorable crowd for all the wrong reasons. And reminding us just how ‘base’ the Australian male can be.
I look forward to hearing him again, next time in a smoke free venue.
Travelling home
Sometimes when I’m travelling home from work on the tram I see a man carrying a painting get on. It’s quite a regular occurrence, sometimes several times a week. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern to where he gets on but its usually between 6 and 8 o’clock. The paintings are different every time.
Generally they are A3 size. Sometimes they are framed in decorative gold, sometimes they are not. He always carried them with one hand clutching the string at the back. Yesterday it was wrapped in clear plastic. There is nothing special about the way he looks. His hair is naturally grey but un-naturally burgundy/brown to the eye. His paintings are mostly landscapes, oils I think.
I quite like him. I always get a wry smile when I think about him. Irrespective of what his pictures look like or how you define art, there is something curiously interesting about a man with a painting regularly shuffling across a dark wet street to take his place in the crowded isle of sombre commuters swaying in unison. It makes me think about things.
Howard’s discoveries
For decades John Howard and his government have denied climate change.
Then, belatedly, we get what is at best a half-hearted, crowd-pleasing response.
Now, again after decades of advice, reports and calls for assistance, Howard has ‘discovered’ that there is a crisis in Aboriginal communities.
And once again we get a knee-jerk, back to the ’50s, media attention grabbing response. As critics have noted in the media today
- Some of the measures will weaken communities and families by taking from them the ability to make basic decisions about their lives.
- There are no measures in the Prime Minister’s statement to set up services for children who are abused.
- The problems of child abuse will only be addressed when Aboriginal communities and professional services are empowered, engaged and driving the process.
Indigenous Affairs Minister Mal Brough has said that the focus in the first six months would be on stabilising the communities, before establishing a “comprehensive, ongoing health plan” for indigenous children.
How conveniently that coincides with the electoral cycle.
What’s next?
Maybe he will discover the drug problem and propose that to cope with overcrowding in our prisons we should transport undesirables to distant outposts of the empire. (Oh wait we’re already doing that).
The farmers are right
I was surprised to read in yesterday’s paper that the government had decided to step back from the requirement that all new houses include either a rainwater tank or solar panels, because this might add a bit of cost to the price of putting up your new dream home. How can we continue to talk about individual inconvenience in this era of dams falling to all-time lows and public money being spent in the billions to desalinate water (and do unknown damage to the environment with the salty leftovers)? Oh, wait, I see, we won’t encourage water tanks ‘cos then ‘people’ will have to buy water from the desalination factory…
But I digress. The farmers are right. City dwellers should learn about saving water. Living with a tank is the best tool for teaching users to turn off the tap. I have childhood memories of parents banging on the bathroom door to remind you to hurry up in the shower and of carrying the rinsing water from the washing machine down the driveway to water trees. And each time I pass those towering trees that were fostered by (resentful) teenagers bearing buckets through hot Northern Tableland summers, I know what water is worth. Learning how to save water is really easy stuff to get into the habit of doing and if you grow up with it, it will never leave you.
Beginning, middle, end
First of all there was a tube in a tyre on a bike.
Then there was an idea forming on a loom. Then there was a bag:
First there was a sheep, then unspun wool, then a felting exercise at TAFE, then another bag.
First there was a piece of fabric that got chopped into lengths then a length of fabric on a loom, then a little bag to ‘clutch’ to your person.
Now there is a really tired TAFE student.
Best 5 seconds of video in the universe since ever
Drinks at the Carlton Hotel, Melbourne
A few days ago myself and three friends were having a quite couple of beers The Carlton Hotel on Bourke St in Melbourne. Recently The Carlton Hotel has undergone a significant refurbishment so we thought it was worth taking a look.
One of my friends is a keen photographer and before meeting us had purchased a new lens. He thought the surrounds of the Carlton Hotel would be an ideal setting for some test photographs, so he took a handful of portraits of us as we sipped our beers and chatted.
Next thing a bouncer is standing above our table abruptly telling us that no photos are allowed and to put the camera away or have it confiscated. It was pretty intimidating and made the four of us feel pretty awkward. I asked why taking a few photographs was a problem, especially as we weren’t getting in way of anyone.
At this point the bouncer got very aggressive and told us “because I said so” and that he would throw us out if he was questioned any further. I said that because he was being so rude that we would leave after we finished our drinks, to which he said “he didn’t care”.
I emphasize the fact that I wasn’t drunk and wasn’t trying to challenge or antagonize him. I just wanted a sensible answer to a sensible question.
I can’t understand why that bouncer at The Carlton Hotel had to be so aggressive and treat us like we were naughty little children who were lucky to in “his bar”? Surely if he treated us like adults it could have been so much easier, and we wouldn’t have left feeling hard done by.
I have been to many bars that let people take photos of one another (flash and sans flash) and it has never caused problems, after all it is just people “letting their hair down” and having a little fun. So why is The Carlton Hotel any different and why does The Carlton Hotel allow its bouncers to treat its patrons like they do?
I appreciate that bouncers must have to deal with some very drunk and unpleasant patrons however this was certainly not the case.
We finished our drinks and left. It was a sad ending to an evening at The Carlton Hotel. We won’t be going back ever. There are plenty of other places to have a beer in Melbourne.
